Too many times we hear young people say they want to do something because everybody’s doing it! This is especially hard when friends are the one’s pressing us to do something that the church or family says is wrong. At other times we may be pressured by our families who tell us things that are contrary to what is going on at church.

Let’s take the case of Allen. It was high school graduation party time and all of the young people were running around getting new clothes, gowns, etc. this party was the thing happening at this time.

It is known through out the church that Allen is a virgin, and he is proud of his lifestyle. One day I overheard a group of young men pressuring Allen (these are his good friends) to “break his virginity” on graduation party night.

I talked to Allen about what I overhead. He was very upset that I was challenging him with the church’s stance on pre-marital sex. Well what came out of our conversation is that Allen’s dad, who is an active member at our parish, talked to his son and gave him condoms for that night. Allen was confused about the fact that here the church was telling him one thing and his dad and friends telling him another. Even his girlfriend who had been sexually active in past relationships was pressing him.

At first, I didn’t know what to say or do because I don’t like to override the parent’s authority, but I did feel I needed to help my confused and frustrated friend. We looked at various scriptures and talked about what it means to be a Christian adult in today’s society. We looked at how the more you are in alignment with God’s plan for your life, the more the devil will try to attack you with the people or things closest to you.

Personally I do not see a problem with our young people dating. I believe that it is important for our young people to learn to relate with their peers. But I do see problem with the way society make people out to be objects.  This is where the problem with dating occurs. By secular standards, our young men are not seen as valid unless the have money, a nice car, or nice clothes. Our young women are not seen as important unless they are good looking(by society’s standards) half of their body hanging out of their clothes, or are willing to sleep with whomever they is talking to them.

It is this standards that cause Christian youth to compromise their values “fit in” these are also some of the same values that cause some of our parents to compromise the values that they would ideally want for their children.

This is a message to all our young people. The devil is after you because you are the present and future of our church. He wants you to feel worthless, unloved, and willing to do anything to get accepted. It is not the media, friends, or society that we are battling against, but the family or domestic church. It is what they have grown up with at home or deal with when they get home that will shape our young peoples’ mindset about love and relationships.

Allen had a great time at the party. He came to my office the next Monday and showed me some pictures of him and his date that he took. He then said, “Oh Mr. Augustine… I am still a virgin.” He had the biggest smile on his face because he knew he did the right thing. He told me that he had a talk with his girlfriend about how he cared for her so much that he did not want their relationship to be built on physical activities, but on Love and Trust.

In conclusion, our youth are not lost they are just following the examples of the adults in front of them.

By Ansel Augustine