One of the biggest challenges facing the Church and a serious indictment of Catholic parents is the issue of passing down the faith we profess to our children. Will your children remain practicing Catholics?

Unfortunately, most Catholic families are divided on the issue of faith as we find situations where only one spouse attends the Catholic Church and even the children also split between the spouses as to which church to attend.
We also find situations where children raised as Catholics upon attaining the age of ten, choose no longer to attend the Catholic Church and change to other churches or outright refuse to attend church altogether.

Most parents whose children no longer attend Mass with them are traumatized by the fact of feeling like failures while others cannot be bothered, believing the children have a right to determine which religion to practice.

In Africa, Sundays are usually work free days but in parts of Nigeria, Sundays are scheduled for village and society meetings with the attendant contribution and merriment. In other West African countries, it is a day to get together with friends over lunch and drinks or the date set for wedding and funeral luncheon parties. It is baffling how people who have time for all these activities and spend hours on end at these functions are too busy to attend church.

Here are what young people have to say about why they go to church and why they don’t.
Catholics aged between 20-30 who attend church regularly claim they are drawn by community they find there. They cherish the sense of belonging to a church and a faith they believe strongly in, despite the pressures of modern day life.

Young adult Catholics who do not attend church claim they are too busy to do so and can’t be bothered.
These were the major findings of a study I conducted in Nigeria and Ghana between the years 2000 and 2008. Unfortunately, this problem is not limited to these two countries alone and has continued over the years.
The five main reasons young adult Catholics cited for not attending church were:

• Too busy (34%);
• Disagreement with Church teachings (23%);
• Negative memories from childhood of being forced to attend Church (16%);
• Too lazy (13.5%)
• Dislike for what they see as excessive ritual at church (13.5%).

It is equally understandable that busy schedules are pervasive in the modern times. Most keep fit clubs engage in their exercises on Sundays, while many people do their laundry on Sunday mornings after spending Saturdays at social engagements. But the too-busy response also carried some nuance. Many people said that answer was merely an excuse, and others said young adults would find time for church if the activities were more spiritually nourishing, uplifting, or contemporary.

Disagreement with Church teaching is not new, so the second most frequent response is no surprise. Considering the natural tendency of young people to rebel against any form of regimentation and guidelines, which they consider as being too stifling for their happy-go-lucky lifestyles, it is not surprising.

It was discovered that due to the lack luster attitude of Catholics to reading the vast amount of doctrinal literatures available to them are easily misdirected on issues of Church teaching which are based on speculations. A classic example is a case of a young man who told me that he refused to attend Mass because the parishioners were forced to go for confession as a priest was always waiting for people to come for confession every Sunday. When I asked how they were forced, he said he was told by some of his friends who later claimed they were told by others.

The third most common answer has been mentioned for years: many young adults were forced to go to church by their parents as children.
Yet, children are also forced to go to school and to engage in other activities. Do they stop going to school altogether? No, rather the urge to excel in school and move on to the universities is the normal pattern.
It is easy for a young man to feel forced to church if attending Mass is a tug of war between the parents. This is common in situations where women mostly have to go to church with the children while the father relaxes at home. In order for the mother to get the children to church, some are threatened with losing their breakfast or lunch for not attending Mass.

As young Catholics in the early 1980s, we attended Mass after arriving home at 5:00an from parties as it was not possible to tell our parents we could not attend Mass due to tiredness. That never stopped us from remaining Catholics because we were made to understand that we needed to be aware of our responsibility to attend Mass on Sunday morning and that should be factored into our plans when we went for social activities.

Does some factor in Catholic religious development encourage rebellion? Every culture and tradition has demonstrated a pattern in which adolescents generation move away from religious structure, then return to the same religious structures to raise their own children. Most parents want their children to attend Catholic institutions where they believe the children will enjoy a Christian upbringing when the same children have not been made to understand the religious obligations of being Catholics and the importance of attending Church.

The response by 13.5% of people who don’t attend church that they object to too much ritual is significant. Many people in this age group, however, move to other churches and engage in all sorts of practices including burning of incense, night vigils and candles. The fact is that, ritual is precious to all humans. It provides powerful expression to non-verbal communication.
Strangely, what rituals do they find in the Catholic Church? Some respondents claim that the standing up at certain times during the Mass was too tiring. Others complain of how difficult it was for them to do penance or a novena.

Probably the biggest problem is simply that the Catholic Church and Catholic parents have missed a huge opportunity with many young people by failing to teach the full meanings, history, and purpose of its tradition.
It is ironic in an age when young people hunger for ritual, the Church with its rich tradition of ritual, somehow misses out.
A thorough understanding of the faith would have made the children understand why certain practices are undertake and makes the faith more enjoyable. Unfortunately, most children who attend catechism classes, do so on their own and are sometimes castigated by their parents who believe the time devoted to the class could have been used at home in helping out with chores or other activities.

Turning to the reasons young adult Catholics attend church regularly, the five major responses were:

• A positive experience of community (38%)
• Opportunity for reflection (17.5%)
• Maintaining a relationship with God (20.5%)
• Opportunity to give thanks to God and experience his real presence (14%)
• And help in spiritual growth (10%)

In many ways it is not news that people attend church to be part of a community. Wanting to be part of a gathering is a classically Christian. Christians participate in an apostolic church founded by Jesus on the promise that connecting with God is not solely a personal experience.
To a lot of adolescents attending Church gives them a sense of belonging and an opportunity to be part of a group or community they consider as an integral part of their larger family structure. The relationship with God is both public and private. The question I asked was “why do you go to church?” not “why do you go to Mass?” young adults do not limit the experience of church to what happens on Sunday. They participate in other spiritual activities and service projects. They are quick to use word s like supported, connected, participate, active, belonging, and camaraderie of church.

Nearly 18% say going to church promotes reflection and helps to give them perspective or to clarify meanings in life. Messages in homilies, in discussion groups, or on retreat help people apply the Gospel to their everyday lives.
Young adults clearly place a very high priority on these expectations of parish, Mass, and other church programs. The third motivating factor is the classic; I go to church to pray. Seeking a weekly renewal of one’s relationship with God by worshiping in a community nourishes Christians. The instinct to gather with others in prayer is as old as humanity itself. Many even feel they stand a better chance of having their prayers answered if they attended Mass.
The fourth reason, to thank God and to experience the Real Presence of Jesus in the Eucharist was cited by only 14% of young adult as a motivation for participation in church or Mass.
This is another example of a great treasure of the Catholic tradition that addresses many young adults’ basic needs, but has been badly explained.
Perhaps these precious rituals have been institutionalized to such a degree that young people have lost touch with original meanings. It must be noted that among Christians of other denominations where communion is given only once a month record a higher turn out during the communion service than ordinary Sunday services.
It will be a great help if our young people could be informed about the Eucharistic celebration and its importance and role in the life of Catholics in a way they can understand and appreciate rather than a situation where receiving the Holy Communion was an evidence of having been good in recent times.

The fifth reason is that churches help young adults to grow and develop spiritually. Many people mentioned their spiritual hunger; this is honest and encouraging. Young adults are seekers. They are actively learning and using technology to assist their pursuits; it is healthy that young adults are seeking spiritual things also.
Between secondary school and mid-20s, many adolescents asked their parents why they go to church. Some parents were annoyed and felt insulted by the question, hearing in it disrespect for a sacred institution. This is due to the fact that they never asked their parents this because they were so loyal to the faith of their own parents.
Most parents probably never really answered the question.

Perhaps the catechism that they studied did not permit them to analyse religion the way younger people do. Consequently, many young parents have never received a satisfactory answer or had a nourishing adult experience of the church. They have never seen the church as a place to seek support to help make sense of the struggles of life.

Many young parents who attend church, on the other hand, know exactly why they go. They have claimed the church in a very realistic way of life for themselves. Few attend simply because it is the religion of their parents; they have questioned, left, and returned to church on their own terms for reasons they clearly articulate.
It is amazing how little parents know about the Catholic faith. The doctrines of the Church they were taught have become so much a second nature to explain basic doctrine to their children.

Another area is the bad reading habit of parents. While the church boasts of a very rich collection of readily available religious literature, most Catholics have almost forgotten about them relying rather on the Sunday bulletins for the reading and announcements. A shocking 25% of parents interviewed were honest enough to admit that they seldom read the bible that is the most common of all religious books.
The absence of faith sharing and faith discussion in homes is another major factor to consider. The children would have been able to understand many aspects of the Catholic faith if they have the opportunity of interacting with their parents on matters of religion. The same attention paid to social appointments should be given to the effort to pass on our faith to the coming generation.

It must be realized by parents that when their children have cause to stay away from home especially in boarding schools, the importance of a well-grounded Catholic childhood becomes important. The children will mix with children of other denominations and faith. They will definitely experience what the other denominations have to offer. How sad it will be if our children are lost to other denominations because of what they received as the shallowness of the faith of the parents.

I was shocked when my son was away from home for a moth and never attended Mass for four week despite being raised as a Catholic child who even at a point wanted to be a priest. Can you beat that? The first sign of freedom and the faith is thrown out of the window. Shocking to say the least!

Why have traditional Catholic schools lost their appeal when parents make choices of schools for their children?
Whatever religious education they miss at home could easily be made up for in the schools. It also affords our children an opportunity to interact with children of their own religious background. Should we allow the huge investments of the Church to be the benefit of others?

Catholics between the ages of 20 and 30 have grown up with little of the Catholic culture familiar to their predecessors. These young people seem more open to the wisdom, tradition, stability and peace that the Church offers. They also appear more open to the moral guidance the Church offers. Like their predecessors, they are very willing to engage in service projects and other activities that they perceive to be significant.

How then can a confused parent really pass on his/her faith to a very inquisitive child who expects detailed academic answers to their question on faith?
Much more than their parents, they will shop for a church-going experience that nourishes them.
The children should also be encouraged to take advantage of the social aspects of the Church. There are so many societies and children groups to choose from.
It is a well-known fact that children who actively participate in church activities, both religious and social have also grown to champion the cause of the Church. It is great disservice to deprive the young ones of the camaraderie and feel of being young Catholics and taking full advantage of sharing their growing experiences with others like them.

Parents, catechist and every practicing catholic should take up the mantle of re-evangelisation of our young ones. It is a major vocation for us to be able to pass on the faith to a younger generation of soldiers of Christ. We must develop ourselves intellectually by seeking as much knowledge as possible about our faith.
It is our duty to practice what we preach and claim to believe in. We owe it as a moral duty to the young and the unborn generations.

Gone are the days when it was acceptable to attend Mass on Sunday and engage in praise worship with another church on Tuesday night. The Catholic Church has all the answers to our problems, if only we know where to find them.

As a parting shot, why is it easier to recite a psalm 30 times as prescribed by a prophet than praying the Rosary or saying a novena? Could it be that we believe more in the efficiency of psalms prescribed by prophets than prayers of our own? If this is the case, then we have to come back to the title of this piece: Will your children remain Catholics? Their choice is yours and your effort at passing on your faith to them will determine your answer.
Remember that your life may be the only Gospel someone will ever hear.